Log in

No account? Create an account
beauty and disaster [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | Auletta ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[20 Aug 2007|11:29am]
this is the first i've logged onto livejournal in months... and through browsing it i've concluded that this is merely a haven for depression... fuck livejournal
post comment

[07 May 2007|09:17pm]
i have given up completely... i've never felt happier
post comment

[29 Apr 2007|01:46pm]
its been years but i can't seem to get you out of my head at all, i'm actually going fucking crazy about this... but your skin seemed so real in my dream
2 severed heads | post comment

[20 Apr 2007|09:37pm]
we dated, i loved you, we broke up... i met someone who helped me get over you... we broke up and i still care about you more than i ever cared about her
1 severed heads | post comment

[16 Mar 2007|11:36pm]
your face is more like a sunset; bleeding reds fall down your cheek.
teeth shatter like falling stars and i can barely keep from laughing.
post comment

[16 Mar 2007|02:16am]
life is just high school
post comment

[08 Mar 2007|01:56am]
i want to see you bent in unimaginable shapes... and hear your heart stop beating... if only you could stop me from throwing you through a fucking window
1 severed heads | post comment

[03 Mar 2007|01:25pm]
i just dont give a fuck
post comment

[15 Feb 2007|11:26pm]
you're a tangled web of obscurity; a backward path of betrayal... through this lesson i seek enchantment, though necessary it be, the enchanted only speak with chapped lips... i'm tired.
post comment

[10 Feb 2007|09:44pm]
hey when you make up shit about me and my past and tell someone that i care about... i hope you rot even more knowing that nobody cares about you... and the only reason why you are starting shit is because without a boyfriend, who never cared about you in the first place, you have no reason to live... so honestly sarah go fuck yourself
1 severed heads | post comment

[30 Jan 2007|10:07pm]
seriously you are the only person who i can go a month or so without talking to and as soon as we strike normal conversation all the same fucking feelings come back, damnit
3 severed heads | post comment

[15 Jan 2007|09:54pm]
everything has been ok i guess, i had an awesome time at Jays minus me inevitably becoming the obnoxious drunk... theres a first for everything. either way ive realized that i dont, by any means, want a girlfriend, and it kind of makes me happy to admit that i'm not looking for anyone
1 severed heads | post comment

[29 Dec 2006|10:23pm]
i miss auletta
3 severed heads | post comment

[28 Dec 2006|10:03pm]
I've been thinking about things A LOT lately... my thoughts sooner reminisce than they do move forward... I live in the past. Countless nights are spent reflecting and trying to forget... most of the time it inevitably comes back to me as I've been asking myself, "what have I become," for days. I've let go of a lot of good things in my past and I have taken so much for granted. For instance, I look at my brother and my sister and how they act with my parents and I want to be that way... I don't want to get annoyed or get so easily irritated... I just want to be "normal." Honestly, when will this pass? I've been through various "growing" experiences and even been through therapy, why do I still struggle with what seems so effortless? I wish I could be a better son, a better, friend, and a better person all around. Nobody will read through this all, but if you decide to skim to the very end, know this... I'm not who you think I am.
3 severed heads | post comment

[01 Dec 2006|03:06am]
so this is when home doesnt quite feel like "home" anymore
1 severed heads | post comment

[05 Nov 2006|07:38pm]
So yesterday was awesome, we played a show in torrington that went relatively well, i'm focusing more on just playing tight and getting the timing perfect as opposed to being more "showy", which i think has improved the overall quality of our set... it felt like everything was slower but everyone said it sounded awesome so thats straight... i missed seeing my band mates and after last night i'm certain about a lot more things...

after the show i went back to my apartment and was ready to pass out... but then my roomate wanted to go downtown and i told him i'd take him so i couldnt be a dick and back out. so we went downtown, which was my first time ever, and i was very awkward at first. we went to Pig's Eye and i had a beer, then we went to some other places... a random girl licked my face and i also saw C.J. out there, pretty straight. i had a few beers and talked to some people, it was cool, my first experience with downtown bar hopping was a success
5 severed heads | post comment

[29 Oct 2006|08:32pm]
so i'm moved in... i'm at my house, or my parents house now... so weird to actually say that. i feel almost 98% better now... and a million times more appreciative; the little things don't bother me half as much as they did. the other night after packing up all my stuff, i sat in the chair in the corner of my room and just thought... it was 2 am, my parents were in bed and it was just me and my room. so many memories, pictures, a wall of poetry... my bed frame was pushed up against the side of the wall... the, once irritating, sponge print on the walls comforted me and as i sat alone in my room, i cried and said that i couldnt do this. i left my house, i drove away and i cried the whole way to my new apartment... its been 2 days and i finally feel like the weight of the world is off of my shoulders... i finally feel happy again and i dont know why. the idea of accepting responsibility and independence has made me appreciate life so much more... as well as my family. they have provided for me for so long and i cant even begin to believe how shitty i have been towards them sometimes... i love them sincerely and days like today, when my mom and i went shopping for my apartment... i wouldn't give up for the world.
3 severed heads | post comment

[26 Oct 2006|02:14am]
heres my dilema... i'm fucking TIRED of everyone... honestly just everyone rubs me the wrong way right now except for like 2 or 3 people. within the past month i've had to assume so much responsibility that i honestly hate almost everyone who is living at home and who talks to me about going shopping... honestly fuck you and fuck anyone who spends money on stupid shit... fuck anyone who doesnt understand how i feel right now and fuck basically anyone who has hurt me in the past. ive been a walking burden and i feel invisible to society... I refuse to trust anyone because at this point there is barely anyone i fucking care about... call me selfish or whatever, but dont you dare call me your fucking friend... i'm not going to speak to anyone unless spoken to and i'm not going to fucking acknowledge anyone unless i'm fucking acknowledged... im just tired of feeling like no one cares.
2 severed heads | post comment

[26 Oct 2006|02:11am]
If I had a gun you'd all be fucking dead by now.
2 severed heads | post comment

[20 Oct 2006|10:17pm]
i worked today from 8am to 8pm... i'm fucking tired
1 severed heads | post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]